Dear Diary -##- (Again!)

And though you're still with me...

I've been alone all along...

Dear Diary -##-

I desperately neeeeeeeeeed to stand on the top of a mountain & screaaaaaam...to let out all the anger...negatives...and sadness within me & see it all vanish in front of my eyes into thin air!

Dear Diary -06-

I gave myself a hair cut...

I hate hairdressers!

Finally...I'm letting go!!! :(((

ana nefsi arga3 a2ra tani for pleasure...akhrog we ashoof so7abi...al3ab reyada...ar2os...atfarag 3ala aflam...watch sitcoms and tv series...asafer...atfasa7...participate in many many activities...aroo7 concerts...learn how to cook!!! learn how to drive!!! have to the time to even go to the doctor!!!!!!!mal3oon abu el career eli ye7'ali kol ayami bel araf eli ana feh da!!! ana mesh 3ayza ashta3'al shoghlana fazee3a...wala 3ayza big salary wala 3ayza kol da...i just wanna be satisfied...i wanna help & affect the life of people who really need so...i wanna be a simple girl...with a simple life...

A New Day Has Come :)

7adarni mawqef! :D

set metgaweza...gozha ba2alo 30 sana mabynzelhash el share3

el nas gat y2alolha enzeli we shofi el dunia...

2aletlohom la2 ana 7'ayfa amooot wala el nas eli fel share3 ye3melo feya 7aga

ya sety ma7adesh hay3mel feeki 7aga we 7ata law feh risk fa it's worth it...face ur fears

2aletlohom la2 bardo el aman ma3ah 7ata we howa beyfteri 3alaya

el set de mawgooda fe 3aqleyat nas keteer...

ya reet nebatal ne7'af

ya reet nebatal nemix el emotions fe kol 7aga

enharda bafta7 saf7a gedeeda ma3aki ya masr

we ha3'ayar men nafsi...3ashanek we 3ashani we 3ashan weladna we welad weladna

e7lam ma3aya be bokra gai we law magash e7na negeebo benafsena! :))

11-02-2011 - al ra2ees el mesri 7osny mubarak tana7a :)

Dear Diary -05- (R.I.P.)

It's hard to see an innocent creature suffer badly, & u're totally helpless about it, you try your very best but still you're losing him.

Today morning you were so helpless and i watched you die, i couldn't help you by any means, i only stayed there even though i know u barely felt my existence. I'm not sad coz u died, coz i know u were suffering badly...death would mean peace for you, i'm not extremely sad coz u won't be here anymore as well coz i know that this how life is...nothing stays forever!!

But what really made me sad was watching you die, & feeling how helpless all my attempts to save you were in front of fate!

I love you and i wish u didn't have to feel all that pain in your last days...

May your soul now be resting in peace!

Dear Diary -04-

I hate to admit it in front of everyone, so as not to find people accusing me of not being thankful to God...

But I'm So Sad, Down, & Depressed

Even though i just had the best news, i was only happy for those few hours...& suddenly i feel really bad again....

Poor Gummy Bears

People will always feed on you..

They'll take advantage of you being "nice" to feed their insecurities and feel better..

Like when they're internally insecure about their mind abilities, they'll pick the nearest chance to tell you how stupid you are..

When they are insecure about the way they dress...they'll simply always pick up on the simplest outfits you have...

People will always try to distract your attention...make you more focus about your "poor self" & forget about how miserable they really are!

It's true that only the the people who failed in their life are the only ones who keep mentioning or sending signals to you to make you feel like you're the failure..

They're ashamed...they want to forget...they want to feel that others are much worse..

They won't be happy as you expected them to be when you succeed...that's why it's useless to try to meet their expectations in the 1st place!

They don't hate you by the way...

They simply have issues...They're hurt...They're more disappointed by themselves than by you...

And now YOU...being kind & nice gives them the chance to feel better about themselves...because they'll always point at you and laugh...and you won't do something about it...

Well!...Mmm i dunno about life anymore...i simply dun care anymore who's feeding on me...and who's not...coz i stopped paying attention to what people say...i dun care if i'm a failure...stupid...fat...a mess...i dun care at all...

each got his own perspective in life and so am i...u see me fat...i see me a mozza...

u see me a failure...i see me never giving up

u see me stupid...i see me with a different mind...thinking in a different path..

and i dun really care to share my perspective with you...

i won't care defending myself...and justifying my situation...

u see what you see...

u get it the way u get it...

i dun care...

i'll simply wish you a Bon Appetite! ;)

feeling better now?!

i hope so :)

Dear Diary II

Me: My phone's dead, and the cats ate the charger :S. We need a new one.

X: Why does everyday had to have some sort of problem. Everyone's life is going smooth, but we're not allowed to have a smooth life!

Me: Whose life is going smooth exactly?! Everyone's life got troubles everyday. Everyone's dealing with shit everyday!

X: No you know nothing.

Me: No believe me, YOU know nothing.

Like seriously what does he expect from life anyways. That's what we live doing, everyday we're faced with a couple of problems and we try to solve them out. Everyday God give us some tests and we pray to pass them. Life ain't easy. Life ain't a spa, or a resort where you're supposed to relax. We do steal some moments in life where we can chill...but at the end life wasn't made for chilling out! If so then what heaven's for?!
All your life you've been transferring that negative attitude to all of us. You made us weak, unable to face life, unable to face troubles. Looking at each trouble as a punishment from God, believing that we're cursed cause we rarely have a trouble free day!
SERIOUSLY!!! enough with all the shit!! like really if you wanna live your life as a victim, and want your life motto to be "WHY ME?!" then seriously stay away from me. I won't be able to handle anymore from your attitude towards life. You've done me enough...Thank You!

Pages From My Diary -01-

Since spring started, Teddy's been freaking out so often from the noises of the wind and God knows what else!
He’s been spending all his days and nights hiding and shaking. And no matter what we try to do to calm him down and make him feel secure, we miserably fail.
Yesterday at dawn, Teddy showed up and sat with me in the room uncertain if he’s doing the right thing. When I got up and headed to the kitchen, he came after me, I only noticed when he wrapped his tail against my legs over and over. I kept moving from my room to the kitchen and he unlikely kept following me here and there. And finally when I sat down, he rested in front of me observing my next move. I couldn’t help it, so I rested beside him on the floor and started to stroke and play with him.
I know that all of this sound pretty normal, but that’s not the way Teddy is. He’s the kind of cat that likes to be left alone most of the time, that doesn’t like to be touched much. His fear of people, noises, even cats sometimes makes him the most unsociable cat I’ve ever seen.
Yesterday was unusual of him. It made me feel that even though he’s always not around, he’s always pulling away, he’s always hiding and wants to be left alone, all of this attitude has been always out of fear which he can’t control, maybe he’s too weak to control it, but after all he’s a cat which would make him at this point almost helpless.
Yesterday he wanted my company and was dying for me to play with him. He needed my affection and passion, he needed lots of feelings he’s been missing coz he’s always alone.
I was dying to sleep, but never wanted to leave him alone at this moment. I stayed with him till as expected some loud wind blew, and he was all freaked out again and took off running for some place to hide.